Perfect
by Hiashi
Summary: Heero and Duo are a happy couple, doing the things that normal couples do, but there's one thing that mars thier perfect world... It's name: Relena. And now, with a little help from Dorothy, she's prepared to try a new approach to getting what she wants..


Beep.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but you see that text down there? I own that. Yes indeed I do. And aren't I damn proud.  
Title: _Perfect_  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Shounen-ai/yaoi ahead. If you don't know the term, or are unsure about it, I mean guys liking guys. Pretty, anime boys getting all kissy-kissy with other pretty, anime boys. Not your thing? Then maybe you shouldn't read this. Some Relena-bashing.  
Archive?: If you want to, go ahead, but tell me after.  
Summary: Heero and Duo are a happy couple, doing the things that normal couples do, but there's one thing that mars thier perfect world... It's name: Relena. And now, with a little help from Dorothy, she's prepared to try a new approach to getting what she wants... Shounen-ai/yaoi. Reposted with a few corrections.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_**Perfect**_

By [][1]Hiashi  
  
  
  


Beep.   


"_Heero? This is Relena. Sorry to call when you aren't home, but I miss you. Seems like so long, doesn't it? I was thinking, maybe we could get together some time, maybe get some coffee, or have dinner, or just... talk. Call back when you can."_   


Beep.   


"_You must be really busy. Did you get my message, or did that idi-- Duo, did Duo erase it? Well, I still want to see you. It seems like forever since I've even heard your voice... Please call back_."   


Beep.   


"_Heero? Are you there? Please pick up. ....Duo? Please, _**_somebody_**_ pick up. Are either of you there at all? Goodness, Duo, if you're ignoring me, I swear, you'll pay. Just... call, Heero. Call."_   


Beep.   


"_Please, please, please pick up, or answer, or.. something. Heero. Heero! Heeeeero! Duo, you braided idiot,_ **_if this is your fault I will personally come and rip every hair from your head! Do you hear me!_**_"_   


Beep.   


"_HEERO! HEEEE---_"   
  


/CRASH/   
  
  


"Damn, she just doesn't give up, does she, Hee-chan?" Duo murmured as he opened a single eye to glance at the boy who lay, curled up beside him on the bed. Flexing his arm, he tried to move as slowly as possible as he retrieved his thrown shoe, with had landed near the mechanical mess that once was their answering machine. 

The other just groaned softly in assent, not wanting to start off his braided companion on a free-for-all rant, which could last a good part of the night... 

While Duo was a master of many nightly activities, sleep was not among them. 

"I mean," Duo continued, nudging Heero in the ribs with an elbow, "she hugs you, what, once? and she thinks she owns you. And then there's the Teddy Bear thing.. I mean, wasn't your fault the bomb inside it was a dud." 

Another intelligible growl from Heero. Duo wasn't getting the clue. 

"And if she really loved you, wouldn't she go after you, instead of calli--MMMPH!" Duo blinked as fierce Prussian eyes met his, set in a sleep-deprived glare, and his braid magically appeared stuffed in his mouth. 

"Quiet." That was all Heero had to say; the other simply nodded, and laid back down, after dislodging his hair from his jaw. 

He'd deal with Relena _and_ Duo tomorrow, if, gods willing, he got a bit of sleep for-- 

"Heeeeeeero.." 

A pair of arms snaked themselves around the stoic boy's waist, accompanied by a coy whisper. "I'm not tired yet. Wanna play... Scrabble?" Of course, it was clear to both that Scrabble had no real part in Duo's plan. 

Well, all right. He'd deal with Duo tonight, and Relena _tomorrow._

Perfect.   
  
  
  


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"Pagan... Just a few more feet forward.. yes... yeeess... No! Go back! ...There. Perfect." 

With a smile dancing over her lips, Miss Relena Peacecraft, so-called pacifist Queen of the World, tilted her binoculars upward, twisting the tips of the lenses to get a better view of what she was staring at so intently. 

It was a rather run-down part of town, cockroach-infested apartments abound, but popular with "Duo's crowd", as she usually referred to them when talking to herself. Namely, those who probably wouldn't live long enough to get enough money for anything better even if they _did_ work. Maybe she was being a tad harsh, but it was the truth, in her eyes, and plus, she wasn't here by choice...

After all, if it weren't for Heero living with that wretched urchin boy, she wouldn't even have considered driving here. Why, she couldn't even use her limo here; Pagan said it would be too obvious next to the grime. So they'd left in an old, black car of Pagan's, and were off. 

Their mission: seek out the perfect Heero Yuy and free him from the clutches of Satan's child. 

Didn't sound _too_ hard, did it? 

Not for Queen Relena, it wasn't! 

"Pagan! He's moving! Quick, around the corner, there's another window, saw it on the drive in.." 

With a sigh, and a nod, the butler swerved around the corner, silently sliding into a park so that his passenger could have full access to the window. Personally, he couldn't see why she'd bother chasing the boy this far. If he lived in a place like _this_, he had to have issues, or had to be dead poor. Either way, it wasn't a good thing to be. 

"Oooh, there he is, there he is! I can see him! Still has that tank top; pity, it isn't nearly as much as a statement after so long." There, in the window, stood none other than Heero himself. From the sidewalk, using the naked eye alone, he'd seem a bit blurry, but Relena had thought ahead; binoculars are beautiful things. She now watched, hungrily, as his mouth flapped with soundless speech, those eyes trailing an unseen form, fists clenched in anger. 

Who was there with him? In the back of her mind she knew, but, well, she really wished she didn't have to be right. Maybe it was... er.. Quatre. Yes, Quatre. He was a good boy, though she couldn't exactly say how good, looking at how he acts with that tall friend of his.. Trowa, if she remembers correctly. Wufei? She'd only heard about him, never seen him, but from what she heard he was a good fighter, just like _her_ Heero. My, the excitement of it all! With a smile, she eagerly watched as the other person in the room stepped into view... 

Damn. _Damn_. 

"Look what the cat dragged it," Relena hissed, and Pagan didn't need to ask what she saw: Duo, of course. He'd been subjected to her rants on how the morbid boy was "corrupting" Heero, so he already knew of her dislike. 

Heero glared, and turned, sharply from Duo, the braided boy just smiling and crossing his arms over his chest. _What an uncaring jerk!_ Relena screamed in her mind, her eyes shooting mental darts at a picture of Duo as she watched. _But at least Heero's acting mad. Good job, my love! You show him! _And yes, for a while it did seem like Heero was mad, even as Duo went over and draped his arms around his neck, but soon his mood seemed to change. Slowly, that line of a mouth turned upward into a slight smile, and Heero turned, quickly capturing Duo in a fast, rough kiss, pulling him closer by the cross that dangled from his neck. 

Relena nearly choked on her own saliva. 

"....Get me.. Pagan, get me.. out of here..." she moaned, holding a hand over her mouth. 

So, Heero likes bad ones, does he? Tough? Well, she could be bad, too... 

Duo's going to have a little competition!   
  
  


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Duo snickered, "_I think she's gone, I can't believe she still..."_

------------------------------------ 

Relena snarled, "Ee! Dorothy, watch where you're sticking those pins. ...I can't believe he still..." 

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"...._thinks you'll come around...."_

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"....thinks he's right for Heero..." 

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"..._I mean, look at her! _...." 

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"...I mean, _look_ at him! ...." 

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"_.....One hundred percent _bitch_!"_

------------------------------------ 

".....One hundred percent _trash!" _Dorothy nodded, silently, and she continued with her 'creating'. 

Yes, Duo _would_ have competition. If anyone knew how to look bad, or at least plain not very nice, it was Dorothy Catalonia, backstabber extraordinaire and generally catty mistress. Sure, Relena had met her while she was acting nice, flitting about at her side and slowly molding the young Queen into a more befitting vessel for her own plans, but that had backfired when certain.. problems came into play. 

Problems that piloted Gundams. 

More specifically, one Quatre Winner. Damn that boy to the farthest reaches of holy _Hell._

But after laying low through the whole Marlemaia incident, Dotty had emerged once again, free of past bonds, and ready to return to her life of subtle persuasion--- or, she would have, if Relena hadn't scoped her out as her new 'lady in waiting', so to speak. It had been sudden indeed, but Dorothy didn't mind helping out Relena, especially for such an... interesting task. 

That task: make Relena look.. er... bad. It was tough, yes, but she tried her hardest. 

First order of business was the wardrobe. All of it. Pink here, pink there, a little white, the occasional sky blue.. It was sickening. And too little-girlish. 

Black velvet cured this. 

And the long, flowing dresses, with bows and ribbons.... Don't think so. 

Leather and collars fixed that quite nicely, as stereotypical as it was. After all, Relena didn't want to _be_ bad, she just wanted to look it. And she needed to crop a few... feet from the length on this dresses. 

A few tubes of hair mascara, glitter, and who-knew-whatelse, Dorothy was quite satisfied with what she had created. Now, to present it... 

Relena had the perfect idea. A birthday party, a big one, but not her own; Duo would probably hinder her Heero in getting there if it was. No, if she recalled, Quatre's birthday was coming up. Why, she just got the invitation last week, and RSVP'd the next day. 

Dorothy paled, but Relena just smirked. 

It would be perfect. 

_Perfect_.   
  
  
  


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"Bill, bill, bill, credit card, birthday card... wait.. Damn, no money, bill.. Hey, Heero! We got an invitation. Lemme guess, Quatre's birthday, and whole frickin' world is invited. Get out here!" Duo flashed his widest smile toward Heero as the growling boy loped out into the kitchen, flopping down at the table and eyeing the scattered bills that he would have to deal with. Heaven forbid Duo would help.. He was about as financially minded as a child. Not that Heero knew a lot about kids, but you can't watch TV without learning something. 

Duo grinned, and ripped off the top of the letter as unceremoniously as you please, and gave it a quick scan, with a lopsided grin. "Fancy text. Yep, has to be one of Quatre's. 'You're invited as one of my dear friends....' blah blah... et cetera, et cetera... 'dress formally..' Hey, Hee-chan, no presents needed! Sweet! I'll call Q-man up right away." 

Heero realized right away that his opinion didn't count, and he just nodded, absently. 

So, a party it was. And what a party, knowing Quatre! But he got a feeling about it, and a bad one, at that. Quatre knew a lot of people, and among them were people he wouldn't want to see. 

But Quatre was his friend, his comrade, and Duo was so excited... 

Party it is.   
  
  
  


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**SATURDAY: Quatre's Sister's Manor:**

- 

Decked out in white, with a smile on his face, Quatre stood at the door to the manor, shaking hands and greeting all of his visitors. A lot were people he didn't even know; brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews who were born during the wars, or while he was running from his father. But as two unrelated boys walked up to the doorway, he instantly brightened, and dashed over to them. 

"Duo! Heero! My friends!" he greeted, as he hugged them both. Duo smiled back, and Heero even allowed himself a small smirk; there was something refreshing about Quatre's cheerful behavior. Perhaps most of it was thanks to Trowa.. According to the blonde, he'd finally opened up, and now, as Catherine had put it, they were officially 'an item'. Of course, he had yet to tell his sisters, but he hoped to be able to do that after the party. "Trowa and Wufei arrived a while go. You should go say hi, seeing as I have to stay here."

"Hey, Q, happy birthday!" Duo said, with a laugh. "What are you, 16 now?" 

Quatre blinked. "I'm 19.. Same age as the both of you." 

"Er.. of course, how silly of me! I'll just.. head inside now.." Duo got a firm grip on Heero's arm and dragged him inside. Instantly, they were assaulted by the thick aroma of flowers, and the soft, lulling sounds of classical music. Ah.. figures. Even if Duo didn't have much to do party-wise, the spread of food was delicious, a combination of what the braided boy called 'Quatre food', and 'normal food'. He soon found Hilde, who was also invited, and, for the first time since he had left the scrap yard to her and moved in with Heero, they talked. Like friends _should_ talk. 

"Ahem.. Can I have your attention, please?" Everyone, including a somewhat sickened Quatre, turned to see the owner of the high, amused voice that now echoed from the doorway. It didn't take the Duo long to see what had made Quatre swallow his ginger ale so fast; in the doorway, which had been opened rather wide, stood none other than Dorothy, dressed in a slim white dress, a pasty, false smile on her thin lips. 

"Thank you." She gazed over the room, mentally noting where the pilots were, before she coughed into her hand, and begun. "I would like to present to you all... and please, hold your applause *snicker* .... the new.... Queen Relena Peacecraft!" Contrary to her own warning, she clapped a couple times, and stepped out of the way. And then.. _she_ came in.. 

Quatre fainted. 

Wufei, casually sipping his wine near the fireplace, dropped his glass, pieces scattering at his feet. 

Trowa, of course, didn't show any signs of caring as he swooped in to pick up Quatre, and bring him over to a couch to set him down on. 

Duo turned around to stifle his laughter. 

And Heero... Well, if he'd been anyone else, his jaw would've dropped. But, being Mr. Perfect-Soldier-Yuy, he just.... blinked, and took a step backwards. 

The girl in front of him was _not _Relena. It couldn't be. 

The girl in front of him didn't have blonde hair anymore, it had been streaked with red so that its original color barely showed. The girl in front of him didn't wear pink, her dress almost sinfully short, fancy necklaces and bracelets traded for tacky black... things. This girl wore spiked heels. This girl gave makeup a bad name. 

This girl was _scary_. 

Relena was an annoying girl, yes, but she didn't look like it, at least not like she did now. She always had a conservative, high-class look to her that made her bearable. At least usually he could glare at her, or at least pretend that he cared about her speeches on the good of peace. But like this... 

He didn't _want _to look at her like this. 

In a lot of ways, she dressed akin to Duo, with the almost gothic black wardrobe, but the rest.. it was overkill. She took the look, and killed it. 

"Heero!" .....And did she ever notice it! 

Heero watched the sly gleam in her eyes dim as he stepped away from her, and reached out to grasp Duo's elbow. Her head swung around, seeking out Dorothy, and she found the girl laughing behind her hand, eyebrows knit in a look of devilish delight. 

"....Heero?" she murmured, turning once again toward him, but she received no comfort there. Yet, as she began to turn, she did feel a hand touch down on her shoulder to stop her, and, glancing behind her, it was her turn to be surprised.

It was Duo. 

_Duo_. And he wasn't laughing, though he did smile; she supposed that was just him, though. 

"Sheesh, girl," he murmured, so that no one but she and himself could hear him. "What have you done? But don't worry.." The partygoers watched, in curious silence, as Duo grabbed Relena's hand, and motioned to Hilde, who grinned, and likewise dragged along one of Quatre's sisters she had befriended as she marched after Duo. 

The four disappeared upstairs, and the party commenced as usual, minus a small crowd that tried to comfort the dazed Quatre. 

And, utterly confused, and more than a bit wary, Heero blinked. 

Until things were cleared up, that was the only rational thing he could think of.   
  
  
  


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Heero hadn't said a word all night. Oh, he'd known it was Quatre's party, and he should be focused on, but a part of him had expected _himself_ to be in the limelight. If he'd known Duo, the boy would not waste any time in hanging all over him, giving him cute, chaste kisses on the dance floor, popping grapes into his mouth even if he wasn't hungry. Hell, he wouldn't surprised if Duo was wicked in a waltz. In a way, loving Duo was like loving a Hollywood star: everyone was going to find out, eventually, so he was going to make it be in his own way. 

But Duo wasn't here. Duo was upstairs. 

Upstairs with Hilde, Quatre's sister, and Relena. 

And hasn't come down for hours. 

It wasn't jealousy, at least not in the way it could have been. He knew Duo too well to know that he abhorred girls as lovers, and that his eyes were only for Heero. But the fact that those girls were spending more time with him than he, his boyfriend, was.. Heero was jealous. A petty, stupid emotion, yet there it was, all the same. 

So much for training. 

"'Scuse me, folks, friends and family of dear Quatre..." He knew that voice, as it boomed from the top of the stairwell. The cocky sound to it, with caring undertones.. It was Duo, no question about it. Heero quickly following the sound, eyes meeting those of violet, even from the distance, and he smiled, softly; Duo winked, before going on. "You've seen her in many live broadcasts, in those prissy pink outfits.. You may love her, the perfect pacifist princess, or you may hate her, as a brash, bratty bitch, but either way, here she is, the new.. _new_ Relena Dorlian." 

The girl who stepped out from behind Duo, and slowly pawed down the staircase didn't look a thing like the girl who had walked in hours before, but Heero could tell it was Relena, simply from the way she carried herself; even after all that embarrassment, she still walked upright, and proud. And yet there was a sort of timidness to her as she moved, which only increased as she stepped onto the first floor, and paused, awkwardly, to let the guests look at her. 

It was obviously something Quatre's sister had leant to her, the dress, but it fit her rather well. It was long, trembling at her heels when she stopping moving, and unlike the first dress it was a pure, virginal white, lined with gold trim here and there, scarcely enough so not to be gaudy. The bright color had been washed from her hair, and it was now its normal blonde, if red-tinted, and slightly curled and frizzy; the mascara can do that. The heels had been replaced by a pair of flat slippers, and for jewelry, she wore a single gold chain. 

The party gradually started up again, and Relena smiled, gliding towards where Duo, Heero, and Hilde now stood, talking quietly. Duo, as expected, was draped around Heero's neck already, smiling with pride to shame the sun, and his mood didn't dampen much as the girl in white approached them, glancing meaningfully at Heero. 

"Heero, I'm..." she started, and paused, only to continue after Duo cleared his through. "I'm.. sorry. For the answering machine messages." Silence; a suggestive cough from Duo. "...and the spying thing. I'll try to be more.. considerate next time." Uneasiness set in as Heero didn't reply, and for a moment, Relena was distraught. What if he didn't forgive her? For the first time in her life, she was afraid her actions would be frowned upon by him. All her hard work.. But then Heero did something that stopped those thoughts. He met her eyes, not a hint of a glare in them, and smiled. 

That was all she needed. The night was, as she had hoped, perfect. 

And, as Duo gently kissed his Heero on the cheek, causing a few raised eyebrows around him, they both had to agree, as well. 

Perfect.   
  


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Beep.   


"_Duo.. you there? Please pick up. I saw you go in. .....Duuuoo!"_   


Beep.   


_"Heero? Are you there? You can't be far from where Duo is, you two cuties, always together. Well, I was thinking, maybe we three can go out sometime. There's this _wonderful_ little Italian place that just opened up nearby. I promise to even consult Hilde before leaving the house, I swear. Please? Thank you."_   


Beep.   


_"DUO! Pick u--_"   


/BANG/   
  
  


From beneath the covers of their bed, Heero let his gun drop to the floor, with a satisfied snort. "She doesn't give up.." he murmured, with a growl. Not even a week since the party, and Relena's calls had started again, but this time asking for them _both_. It had been scary enough as it was, but when she started referring to Duo as 'that braided cutie', well... 

"Wow, Hee-chan, good shooting," Duo remarked, ignoring the comments; Heero'd taken over as the head ranter of the house. "Didn't even think you had a gun in those shorts. Makes me glad I _didn't _get those off of you yet... But, now that you don't need them any more..." 

As said before, Duo was a master of _many_ nightly activities, even if he still lacked the basic skill of sleep. But it wasn't like Heero minded. He could miss a little sleep, won't hurt him... 

Yes, there was only one word he could think of to describe his life...   
  


It was perfect.   
  
  


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_Fin._   


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Liked it, hated it, want to crucify me over a pit of molten lava? Then review! 

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   [1]: mailto:rhapsody@end-war.com



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